So you have a pushy dog…

Some dogs are pushy by nature while others you’d never think could be described as such. However, that does not mean your sweet, soft eyed, would never hurt a fly, fur baby can’t accidentally become a pushy, dictator of all things dog.

Do any of these behaviors sound familiar?

• Pawing at you for attention

• Nudging with their head for affection... maybe even spilling a drink if you happen to be holding one

• Insistent begging for food/treats

• Trying to steal treats out of your pocket, hand or food off the coffee table, etc.

• Barking to be let outside/inside

• Barking if a meal is running behind it’s schedule time

• Jumping on you when you get home

• Acting jealous and butting in between you and another dog, or worse you and another human

• Constantly bringing you a toy and requesting you play with them

• Not listening, despite yelling, and knowing they’re not allowed to do what they’re doing

Recently I made an instagram post with 7 quick tips for owners living with a pushy dog. Turns out the tips aren’t quick, and took more explanation than IG would allow. So let’s dive in…

Before anyone loses their mind this is not an end all be all.  These tips are not permanent instructions nor solutions. They are far more difficult for the human to follow than the dog.  

My suggestion? Try it for 2 weeks and see if it helps. Or even try if for two days, some people, even two HOURS. If you think you can’t do all of them, do some of them.  Start somewhere with some of it.  All of these topics can be the backbone of a healthy relationship with your dog, or the microscope to why things are falling apart at the seams.

The longer issues like these go unaddressed, the worse the behavior becomes and the harder it will be to address it in the future.  And what is most unfortunate — all of these are never a problem, until they’re a problem, but even worse, they SEEM like good, nice, kind, caring things/ways to interact with our dogs.   

The truth is some dogs will get away with all of this any maybe even more, because they are soft, docile, gentle, and appeasing in nature.  Likely, if you’re making these mistakes you’ve had one of these “best dogs ever”s in the past. Unfortunately, if you have a certain type of dog, this stuff can do some serious damage.

So what is the WHY behind those 7 tips you ask? Hear me out…

1️⃣ Control Resources

The main idea behind controlling resources, food in this case — is not to be a control freak that demands their dog views them as the Alpha, but to build more engagement and strengthen the relationship. Using meals for their training is huge. Building solid obedience behaviors is great, but it can also be as simple as scattering food in the yard.  Don’t over complicate it. Roll food up in a towel, use a muffin tin, get a puzzle toy or bowl — it all works.  Heck, even use a regular bowl if you must 🤯. The simple act of you giving them access to it each day is reframing their mindset. They’re no longer grazing whenever they want for free.  Bonus points if you can teach a release word and make them wait before they get access to however you’re feeding them. *If they do not eat when you offer it, wait no more than 10 minutes, then remove the food. If they don’t eat, they likely will after a couple meals. If they don’t you likely have a bigger trust issue on your hands.

2️⃣ Toys too

Dogs that weren’t taught to play with you at a young age will likely play by themselves or play a version of keep away.  Playing with your dog builds engagement and a bond, which again, is good for the relationship. Meet them where they are and slowly coach them to play with you. Put them on a leash if necessary to encourage staying within a certain range of you.  At first it may be tough, but you can’t get frustrated. Pretend you have the best toy in the world and are having the best time ever. Make them jealous, occasionally taunt them, and play until you think you’ve been convincing enough. This may require multiple attempts, but stay the course. Once the breakthrough happens, it’s game changing. ;) The other key to getting your dog to play WITH you, is ending the game before it becomes stale. End the game when your dog still wants to play.

3️⃣ Limit Affection

Understand this — your dog does not know the difference between laying their head on their lap or softly nudging you for affection and jumping all over you when you get home. By allowing them to be pushy in one sense, it’s confusing to then get upset or not allow the another. If your dog constantly wanders over randomly for affection, follows you aimlessly around the house, must be closest to you, etc... that has likely been accidentally reinforced. “You get what you pet” — Sound familiar? Every time you pet them bc they are so cute and so sweet and the best/easiest supplier of oxytocin we have,it’s ingrained in them that this is what I do.  So your poor dog has no idea why sometimes you yell or shoo them away in certain situations.   You’re in a rush?  You’re over stimulated? You’re dressed nice?  They don’t know.  They also don’t know barking at you to play or for food is different than calmly, sweetly, looking at you for pets.  

4️⃣ No Means No

I hear so often “I say no, I yell no, but they don’t listen.”  Here’s the reality… unless you’ve 1 - taught a behavior you want instead and 2 - provide a meaningful consequence for the behavior you don’t want, no amount of yelling or nagging is going to work. If you can’t enforce it, don’t ask for it. If you’re not willing to get up and remove your dog from in front of the window, don’t yell at him to “shut up” over and over again.

5️⃣ Ignore Them

This is simple, but possibly the toughest of them all. I don’t know about you, but seeing my dogs when I get home is one of the highlights of my day. But letting them know how excited I am to see them would be a total disaster. My job is to stay neutral and be boring when I get home. Ignore them for at least 5 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less… Baby talk and immediate reunions are two of an excited dogs favorite things. Almost always will this lead to one of your least favorite things — being jumped all over, scratched, bruised, etc. Making your routine upon leaving the house more bland as well can in turn help make the reunion less exciting and more neutral.

6️⃣ Teach Place

Teaching place is one way to help teach your dog impulse control. Pushy dogs are heavy on the doing and light on the thinking.  They are usually more anxious dogs as well, which means their brains are going non-stop, searching for things to do. “Place” is not magic, and if overused I think it can suppress the dog, but for many it certainly can be a helpful teaching tool.

7️⃣ Advocate

Multi dog households should never allow a dog to push their way into affection. When someone is giving attention or affection to dog A, dog B should not be allowed to intervene. Use an outstretched arm, body pressure, a leash, etc. to block the other dog from butting in. If you do give them attention as they’re pushing in, it only increases the likelihood of the other pushy behaviors.

Often times owners who find themselves struggling with these topics have been dealt a tough hand. Something in life hasn’t gone right. There’s many things to struggle within today's society. I don’t have great advice for handling those things, but what I do know from experience is leaning on your dog and allowing (maybe even enabling) some of these 7 topics, makes things worse in the long run.

We have a responsibility to our dogs. At very least give them food, water, shelter, and love. Everyone knows that. Too often what people don’t know is how one sided the love part can go. We smother our dogs with affection but still expect them to listen. Dogs are not humans. Dogs can improve our lives immensely, but its OUR job to unpack OUR issues. When we dig deep to figure out why we struggle with things in this post, we start to get some balance back into our relationships with our dogs.

I don’t say any of this lightly, and only am speaking on it because I personally struggled with each of these topics.